Nutrition for Littles

How Your Mindset May Be Affecting Your Child’s Eating Habits

One day, back when my son was in daycare regularly, I’d come to pick him up and watch him a few minutes before going in. I saw him putting his toys away and climbing the stool to wash his hands, able to dispense his own soap and turn the water on and off. I was awestruck! He wasn’t doing them at home and I didn’t understand why. The next time he needed to wash his hands I caught myself as I fetched the stool for him. I was the one preventing him from learning how to do it on his own. I didn’t know what he was capable of because I never gave him a chance to show me.

Sometimes, when we feel like we’ve tried everything we can to help our picky eater, the truth may be that you just need to get out of your own way. You’ve got to take your foot off the brake to keep moving forward. Making these three big mindset shifts may be the key to finally helping your picky eater once and for all.

You don’t really know how hungry they are

As parents, we can read our kids better than anyone else. We are so in tune with them and learn their little cues that express their needs. It can feel that we know them so well that of course, we would know how hungry they are. But that simply isn’t possible. We may think we can read their cues or tune into their habits well enough to know how they feel, but we aren’t inside their bodies. 

You may be able to identify when they’re super hangry, but how do you react when they tell you they’re full after a single bite? Do you accept that answer or do you feel you know better like there’s no way they’re full after one bite? Do you employ pressure techniques like bribing or begging to convince them to eat more?

Once we recognize that we can’t feel their level of hunger, we give that power back to them. From there, we can help educate them on understanding the cues their bodies are giving them, and over time they will begin to trust it more and more; like when they’ve eaten too much or too little, had too much sugar, etc.

The earlier we can communicate to them how to express their needs and understand their body’s cues, the better.

Acknowledge your expectations

When you meet your child at the table, do you walk into it with an expectation of how much they should eat, what foods they consume, or how long it should take them? Setting too high expectations will only set you both up for failure. 

When there is a gap between our expectations and our child’s “performance” at the table, we think we have to work them up to the expectation, often using pressure techniques to get them there. While it may work in the moment, over time it will lose its effectiveness and you’ll dig yourself into a deeper hole.

Shift your mindset to start recognizing the expectations you have and lowering them to a more realistic level. We’ll never be able to release all our expectations, but if you can realize when they’re too high and adjust, it can help let them feel more prepared for meal times. Instead of coming to the table with a feeling of predestined failure and being overwhelmed, they can approach it calmly and confidently.

Let go of how you were raised

Our experiences as children come up frequently as parents and our actions at the table are no different. Reflect on how you were raised and whether you are bringing those experiences to the table with your own children. In our Table Talk group, I often hear, “Well I was raised having to finish my plate” or “There are starving kids in Africa” or they were reprimanded, punished, or rewarded. 

Having kids brings up a lot of stuff as parents and when something happens, that problem feels immediate. When we aren’t sure how to address it, we often pull from our personal experiences as children instead of taking the time to navigate the possible solutions and choose the right one for that moment. Or maybe you had such a traumatic childhood experience that you have swung to the complete opposite side. Either way, you are making a decision for your child based on your personal experience.

Think about the challenge you’re facing and find different options and tools to keep in your tool belt so you can find a solution that aligns with the type of parent you want to be and the type of person you want to raise.

We grow independent eaters by being intentional with our words and actions and being consistent. Remember that you and your child are completely different people and what worked (or didn’t work) with you likely won’t work with them. 

Finding the right tools for the problem at hand can be difficult. My Table Talk Course is a self-paced picky eating course that will give you a toolbelt full of strategies to employ during your picky eating journey. We focus on mindset and high-level ideas as well as the nitty-gritty details of dealing with certain situations so that when they come up, you have a plethora of options to find the one that works for you.

When you can shift your mindset and learn to trust your child, let go of your expectations, and release your childhood experiences, you are setting your child up to be more successful at the table.

So many moms and dads reach out to me asking how they can get their kiddos to eat meat. Most people, especially Americans, have a meat-based diet and are concerned when their children don’t eat as much meat as they expect them to.

First and foremost, remember your little one doesn’t have to eat meat to eat healthy. There are many other protein sources we can add to their diet that aren’t meat-based. They can meet their protein needs, develop normally, and thrive without a meat-based diet.

However, I want to share some tips and tricks to get your child more familiar with meat so that they may eventually come to accept it as a normal part of their diet.

The Type Of Meat Matters

Adults tend to lean toward lower-fat proteins like chicken and turkey–both breasts and ground. But when we serve these cuts to our kids, they tend to be a little too dry for their palate and will be more difficult to chew and swallow, activating their gag reflex. Even up to five years old, children are learning how to chew properly and navigate food around their mouths.

Instead of lean meats, opt for sources with more moisture and higher fat content. Typically you will be safe choosing dark meat over light meat–something like the dark meat of a chicken, a roast cut, or pork.

Helpful Preparation Techniques

A whole chicken breast is going to be more difficult for a child to navigate than shredded chicken. Picky eaters usually have an easier time accepting meat when it is shredded, ground, or in a meatball shape.

Try adding sauces on the side or incorporating that sauce into your cooking. Keep it flavorful and interesting! Breading is usually well-accepted by picky eaters. Test things out and see what works for you. Then figure out how to make the meat you want them to have in a form you know they’ll accept.

Start Small

Kids need a lot less protein than you may think. A large chicken breast has 30-50 grams of protein and kids just don’t need that much in a single meal! When we keep that in mind, we can start serving meat in smaller amounts and adjust our expectations.

For example, when you make spaghetti, instead of adding one pound of ground beef per jar of sauce, use only a quarter or a half pound. Over time, add more and more meat each time you cook it, or cook the meat separately so you can decide how much each member of the family gets.

This is an introductory version of fading–slowly adding the food you want them to eat into a food they’ve already accepted–a concept we cover in depth in my Table Talk Course.

Keep It Fun

Keeping things fun and interesting at the table will help open your child up to trying new things. I’ve seen so much success in offering meat in a meatball form! 

They can use their hands, poke it with a food pick, lick it, take it apart, use tongs or utensils, or call it a lollipop! Make it out of different meats or buy them premade and pair them with various sauces. Make them in differing shapes and sizes, allowing them to pick which ones they want to eat that day.
When we find new, fun, and exciting ways to serve our kids food, they’re more likely to accept it. And while these tips work for many, they may not work for all. Maybe you feel like you’re in too deep and you’re tired of the struggles that come at dinner time. If you’re ready to take back control and become your child’s feeding expert, join my Table Talk Community. You’ll learn strategies and methods that will kick picky eating to the curb for good.

And Why It May Be Doing More Harm Than Good

If you have a picky eater at home, you’ve likely tried everything under the sun to get them to eat their dinner. Or maybe you’re trying to prevent your child from ever becoming a picky eater! We can’t control everything our kids do and we likely aren’t the cause of picky eating habits. 

However, picky opportunities pop up and you may feel like you need to come to the rescue. By doing so, you might actually be making things much worse.

Pressure Techniques

You may resort to pleading with them to just try one bite. You might guilt them by telling them how hard you worked to provide them that meal. Maybe you’re bribing them with their favorite show or dessert if they sample their broccoli. Or perhaps you’re threatening them with loss of privileges for a plate unfinished.

Actions like begging, guilting, bribing, and threatening are all pressure techniques. They will often work in the short term, but research shows that using these techniques actually makes picky eating habits worse and last longer. I get it, mama. You’re exhausted and frustrated, your relationship is suffering, and you dread going to the table. What started as a harmless tactic has now hijacked your dinner table.

If you feel like pressure techniques are the only thing that works on your child, but you’re looking for something fresh, something new, I invite you to join my Table Talk course. You will become your child’s eating expert, armed with tactics to help guide them through their picky eating phase once and for all.

Praise As Pressure

As parents, we know the importance of praising our children. They need it, deserve it, and thrive on it! As children, their hearts shine when they think they’ve made us proud. It’s a beautiful relationship that serves both parents and children.

While praise is a valuable tool for parents, it can also be a pressure technique at the table. When our picky eater takes a bite of new food and we praise them for it, we are attaching pride to the action of eating that food. And while we got the action we were hoping for (i.e. trying a bite of broccoli), there may be something deeper happening under the surface.

Underneath that surface action, they’re connecting your pride to the action of eating a portion of food they may not be comfortable with. It is at that point that it has become a pressure for them. Children crave their parents’ affirmation and love and pride and praise. So they will continue to eat that food, just waiting for the dopamine hit that will come from your verbal affirmation.

Eventually, though, we will get used to them eating their broccoli every night and stop praising them. Here we will start to see pushback from them and they’ll revert back to not eating broccoli or find a new food to refuse, in the hopes that trying it will once again bring on your praise.

As parents, we don’t want our love to be tied to the actions of our children. Our love is unconditional! Of course, we know we don’t love them more when they eat broccoli than when they don’t, but that may not be what they’re experiencing.

When To Use Praise

While I don’t recommend praise for eating certain foods, there are actions at the table that deserve it! You might praise them for sitting nicely at the table and for the entire meal time, using their utensils, or allowing a new food to be on their plate. These actions aren’t tied to food and do not hold the same pressure power.
Praise may be the sneakiest contributing factor to picky eating, as it seems harmless. Don’t worry if you’ve been praising your picky eater for trying new foods! I promise you haven’t ruined them. Just by reading this or listening to my podcast episode, you’re making progress and taking one step at a time in the right direction.

And Tips To Get Through It Together

We’ve likely all been there, sitting at the table, staring at our little one who is refusing to eat. Maybe it’s a one-off or perhaps they’re in a state of constant refusal. Either way, you get frustrated and confused and likely start to worry.

Understanding why they’re refusing to eat is extremely important. Like every aspect of life, knowing the why behind a problem can help guide us to the right solution.

First, we need to get our verbiage right. I’ve had clients tell me their child skipped or rejected dinner, but with follow up realize they did in fact eat, just not the amount their parent expected.

Beware of the verbiage you use with yourself, your partner, and your child. Is it true they didn’t eat anything at all or did they just not meet your expectations?

This is key to gaining perspective and insight to figuring out the right reason. 

1. They’re overwhelmed by their plate

A parent in my Table Talk program shared that her daughter ate an entire grilled cheese sandwich yesterday, so today she offered an entire sandwich. Her daughter ate one bite and refused the rest. What happened?

After further questioning, she shared that yesterday she served the sandwich one triangle at a time, letting her child choose if and when she wanted more. Today, she slapped the whole sandwich on the plate at once.

Children can often feel overwhelmed by the amount of food that’s on their plates and may feel internalized pressure to eat it all.

To help, remove some of the food and only add more when requested!

2. They’re getting sick

One of the first signs of illness is a decreased appetite. They may be losing their taste or smell, draining mucous, or experiencing throat pain.

If their refusal to eat is a one-off occurrence, an illness may be the culprit. There’s no reason to worry, just keep an eye on their intake, keep them hydrated, and know it will come to an end soon.

3. They’re in a state of stagnant growth

Seeing our child’s growth chart at the doctor’s office can make us feel like growth is on a constant upward curve.

In reality, their growth is more like stairs–high growth for days, weeks, or months at a time, followed by a short plateau before jumping up again.

If a diminished appetite has been going on for several days, this may be the reason. If so, don’t worry. Your child won’t let themselves starve! During these plateaus, their needs are different. 

Once they get back to a high growth stage, their appetite will pick right back up.

4. They’re not hungry

I know this one feels like I’m being dismissive, but hear me out.

While we can use a clock and recognize patterns in our children’s hunger, we are not inside their bodies and will never truly know how hungry or full they are.

Sure, they can verbalize it, but we can’t know for sure.

If they really aren’t hungry, it could be due to grazing or filling up on milk. If you think that could be the case, you may need to establish, change, or stick to your meal and snack routine. For tips on getting started, you can listen to a full podcast episode all about routines here!

5. They don’t like the food options

If they’re refusing to eat what you’ve served, they may just be waiting for a meal they want. This is especially common if there have been times when you’ve made them a separate meal.

This is where the division of responsibilities comes into play. As the parent, you decide what’s provided, where, and when. The child is responsible for what they eat and how much.

Part of parenting is holding boundaries and being consistent. If you expect them to eat what is served, hold those expectations with compassion.

While establishing new boundaries may lead to a decrease in food intake, choosing not to eat is their decision.

To make sure they have at least something they will eat, you may want to include at least one safe food option at each meal and snack time.

Learning To Eat Intuitively

As a parent, it may make you uncomfortable if you know your child is hungry but won’t eat. Their bodies have a wide range of hunger and they must be allowed to experience that full range.

Doing so will help them learn their bodies and tune into the cues it’s giving them.

If you’re concerned about their intake or they’ve rejected several meals in a row, try changing the menu and opt for a home run meal. Instead of one safe food, offer a plate full of safe, or even favorite foods!

This can help you figure out the reason why they’ve been refusing, whether they don’t like the options, they’re not hungry, getting sick, or are in a state of stagnant growth.
I have a section in my Table Talk program dedicated to figuring out the why behind your child’s picky eating. We will help you identify if it’s happening to you and your little one and find a solution so mealtimes can be a time for connection instead of stress.

No-Hassle Tips To Enhance A Quick And Easy Breakfast

There are some mornings that I just CANNOT. I don’t have the energy to prepare a morning feast, I just want a quick and easy breakfast to throw on the table. 

So know that you’re not alone, mama.

And let me tell you, there’s nothing wrong with serving something quick! 

I want to show you how easy it can be to boost the nutritional value of common quick breakfasts without the hassle of dirty dishes.

5 Easy Breakfasts And How To Pair Them

Most quick breakfasts are heavy in carbohydrates. Carbs are quickly metabolized, often leading to more frequent eating.

With some easy boosts, we can help extend their staying power and keep our kids’ bellies full longer!

Cereal

Whether they take it dry or with milk, cereal is a quick 5-second meal. And while there are definitely some brands more nutritious than others, I won’t go into brand comparison or ingredient lists here! I want to give you tips that make it go further no matter what you choose.

Most cereals are high in starch and carbs, which metabolize quickly, and low in fat and protein, which helps keep us satiated. To extend this breakfast meal, we need some fat and protein!

I’d start with adding some fiber, a great stabilizer for their mood and stomach. Throw a handful of fruit on top of their cereal or on the side.

If they don’t like milk, a great source of protein and fat, try adding raisins and some broken-up nuts like cashews or even a sprinkle of seeds like chia or hemp.

Frozen Waffles

While there’s nothing wrong with store-bought pancakes and waffles, I recommend making them in bulk at home and freezing them! You will save money and control the ingredients while keeping the convenience.

Like cereal, these are high in carbohydrates, so we want to add fat and protein.

Instead of just spreading butter, add a layer of nut butter, too. Or, make it fun with a butter/nut butter/syrup combo dip!

You could also add a bowl of whole-fat greek yogurt with granola on the side.

Scrambled Eggs

This meal takes a little more prep but is still a simple morning meal.

It’s got some fat and protein, but let’s beef it up with additional nutrients, specifically a complex carb.

Add a slice of whole wheat toast or an English muffin with fruit on the side.

You could also add a splash of whole milk to the egg mixture to enhance the nutrient content.

If you can get away with it, chop spinach to cook in the eggs. Start small and increase over time. The spinach doesn’t change the flavor or texture and adds fiber and micronutrients!

Yogurt

Yogurt is super simple–pop off the top and throw in a spoon. If you do it right, yogurt can be a pretty balanced meal, but you still may want to add a booster or two.

First, choose full-fat yogurt for kids. And if they like the flavor, opt for greek or icelandic yogurt for its higher protein content.

Add a dollop of nut butter mixed in for more protein and fat and to increase the flavor, especially if it’s plain greek yogurt.

I also like to add “sprinkles” on top. Create your own granola mixture, being sure to include chia seeds or hemp hearts for added fiber and a nice crunch.

Oatmeal

Oatmeal is one of the most common breakfast foods, especially during the cooler months.

It’s a great source of whole grains, complex carbs, and good fiber.

While it’s pretty sustaining on its own, I always recommend adding more.

Try making it with milk instead of water, maybe even adding an egg or egg white to the mixture.

Once cooked, add some boosters! For fiber, add some fruit. To increase fat, mix in butter or nut butter. You could even mix in greek yogurt or protein powder to boost protein content!

Adding these simple boosters take almost no additional time and significantly boosts nutrition for your little one’s breakfast.

When they start the day strong, the rest of the day follows!

But if you’re struggling with getting your little one to eat at all, or their picky eating habits have 

you stressed out each time you go to sit with them at the table, it’s time to get to the root cause and make some changes.
In my Table Talk course, I will help you learn all the strategies and methods to help your kids eat all foods. Together, we will identify their picky eating habits, figure out why they’re occurring, and find a solution so you and your family can spend less time stressing and more time connecting.