Praising Your Picky Eater

And Why It May Be Doing More Harm Than Good

If you have a picky eater at home, you’ve likely tried everything under the sun to get them to eat their dinner. Or maybe you’re trying to prevent your child from ever becoming a picky eater! We can’t control everything our kids do and we likely aren’t the cause of picky eating habits. 

However, picky opportunities pop up and you may feel like you need to come to the rescue. By doing so, you might actually be making things much worse.

Pressure Techniques

You may resort to pleading with them to just try one bite. You might guilt them by telling them how hard you worked to provide them that meal. Maybe you’re bribing them with their favorite show or dessert if they sample their broccoli. Or perhaps you’re threatening them with loss of privileges for a plate unfinished.

Actions like begging, guilting, bribing, and threatening are all pressure techniques. They will often work in the short term, but research shows that using these techniques actually makes picky eating habits worse and last longer. I get it, mama. You’re exhausted and frustrated, your relationship is suffering, and you dread going to the table. What started as a harmless tactic has now hijacked your dinner table.

If you feel like pressure techniques are the only thing that works on your child, but you’re looking for something fresh, something new, I invite you to join my Table Talk course. You will become your child’s eating expert, armed with tactics to help guide them through their picky eating phase once and for all.

Praise As Pressure

As parents, we know the importance of praising our children. They need it, deserve it, and thrive on it! As children, their hearts shine when they think they’ve made us proud. It’s a beautiful relationship that serves both parents and children.

While praise is a valuable tool for parents, it can also be a pressure technique at the table. When our picky eater takes a bite of new food and we praise them for it, we are attaching pride to the action of eating that food. And while we got the action we were hoping for (i.e. trying a bite of broccoli), there may be something deeper happening under the surface.

Underneath that surface action, they’re connecting your pride to the action of eating a portion of food they may not be comfortable with. It is at that point that it has become a pressure for them. Children crave their parents’ affirmation and love and pride and praise. So they will continue to eat that food, just waiting for the dopamine hit that will come from your verbal affirmation.

Eventually, though, we will get used to them eating their broccoli every night and stop praising them. Here we will start to see pushback from them and they’ll revert back to not eating broccoli or find a new food to refuse, in the hopes that trying it will once again bring on your praise.

As parents, we don’t want our love to be tied to the actions of our children. Our love is unconditional! Of course, we know we don’t love them more when they eat broccoli than when they don’t, but that may not be what they’re experiencing.

When To Use Praise

While I don’t recommend praise for eating certain foods, there are actions at the table that deserve it! You might praise them for sitting nicely at the table and for the entire meal time, using their utensils, or allowing a new food to be on their plate. These actions aren’t tied to food and do not hold the same pressure power.
Praise may be the sneakiest contributing factor to picky eating, as it seems harmless. Don’t worry if you’ve been praising your picky eater for trying new foods! I promise you haven’t ruined them. Just by reading this or listening to my podcast episode, you’re making progress and taking one step at a time in the right direction.

BONUS: How moms can break the cycle of overeating, stress eating and cravings

Today’s podcast episode is a bonus! It’s a recording from last night’s free class all about how to break the cycle of overeating, stress eating and cravings! You can watch the replay by clicking right here.

Want to join The Mama Well community while doors are open? Click here to join us today and get these bonuses as a free gift:

  • Kick your cravings to the curb course ($297 value)
  • Invite to LIVE weight workshop in May ($497 value)
  • Body Image Bundle ($497 value)

Hurry! Doors close Thursday! Don’t forget to follow us @the.mama.well on Instagram and listen to our podcast The Mama Well here!

5 Reasons Your Child Is Skipping Meals

And Tips To Get Through It Together

We’ve likely all been there, sitting at the table, staring at our little one who is refusing to eat. Maybe it’s a one-off or perhaps they’re in a state of constant refusal. Either way, you get frustrated and confused and likely start to worry.

Understanding why they’re refusing to eat is extremely important. Like every aspect of life, knowing the why behind a problem can help guide us to the right solution.

First, we need to get our verbiage right. I’ve had clients tell me their child skipped or rejected dinner, but with follow up realize they did in fact eat, just not the amount their parent expected.

Beware of the verbiage you use with yourself, your partner, and your child. Is it true they didn’t eat anything at all or did they just not meet your expectations?

This is key to gaining perspective and insight to figuring out the right reason. 

1. They’re overwhelmed by their plate

A parent in my Table Talk program shared that her daughter ate an entire grilled cheese sandwich yesterday, so today she offered an entire sandwich. Her daughter ate one bite and refused the rest. What happened?

After further questioning, she shared that yesterday she served the sandwich one triangle at a time, letting her child choose if and when she wanted more. Today, she slapped the whole sandwich on the plate at once.

Children can often feel overwhelmed by the amount of food that’s on their plates and may feel internalized pressure to eat it all.

To help, remove some of the food and only add more when requested!

2. They’re getting sick

One of the first signs of illness is a decreased appetite. They may be losing their taste or smell, draining mucous, or experiencing throat pain.

If their refusal to eat is a one-off occurrence, an illness may be the culprit. There’s no reason to worry, just keep an eye on their intake, keep them hydrated, and know it will come to an end soon.

3. They’re in a state of stagnant growth

Seeing our child’s growth chart at the doctor’s office can make us feel like growth is on a constant upward curve.

In reality, their growth is more like stairs–high growth for days, weeks, or months at a time, followed by a short plateau before jumping up again.

If a diminished appetite has been going on for several days, this may be the reason. If so, don’t worry. Your child won’t let themselves starve! During these plateaus, their needs are different. 

Once they get back to a high growth stage, their appetite will pick right back up.

4. They’re not hungry

I know this one feels like I’m being dismissive, but hear me out.

While we can use a clock and recognize patterns in our children’s hunger, we are not inside their bodies and will never truly know how hungry or full they are.

Sure, they can verbalize it, but we can’t know for sure.

If they really aren’t hungry, it could be due to grazing or filling up on milk. If you think that could be the case, you may need to establish, change, or stick to your meal and snack routine. For tips on getting started, you can listen to a full podcast episode all about routines here!

5. They don’t like the food options

If they’re refusing to eat what you’ve served, they may just be waiting for a meal they want. This is especially common if there have been times when you’ve made them a separate meal.

This is where the division of responsibilities comes into play. As the parent, you decide what’s provided, where, and when. The child is responsible for what they eat and how much.

Part of parenting is holding boundaries and being consistent. If you expect them to eat what is served, hold those expectations with compassion.

While establishing new boundaries may lead to a decrease in food intake, choosing not to eat is their decision.

To make sure they have at least something they will eat, you may want to include at least one safe food option at each meal and snack time.

Learning To Eat Intuitively

As a parent, it may make you uncomfortable if you know your child is hungry but won’t eat. Their bodies have a wide range of hunger and they must be allowed to experience that full range.

Doing so will help them learn their bodies and tune into the cues it’s giving them.

If you’re concerned about their intake or they’ve rejected several meals in a row, try changing the menu and opt for a home run meal. Instead of one safe food, offer a plate full of safe, or even favorite foods!

This can help you figure out the reason why they’ve been refusing, whether they don’t like the options, they’re not hungry, getting sick, or are in a state of stagnant growth.
I have a section in my Table Talk program dedicated to figuring out the why behind your child’s picky eating. We will help you identify if it’s happening to you and your little one and find a solution so mealtimes can be a time for connection instead of stress.

Easy Ways To Boost Breakfast

No-Hassle Tips To Enhance A Quick And Easy Breakfast

There are some mornings that I just CANNOT. I don’t have the energy to prepare a morning feast, I just want a quick and easy breakfast to throw on the table. 

So know that you’re not alone, mama.

And let me tell you, there’s nothing wrong with serving something quick! 

I want to show you how easy it can be to boost the nutritional value of common quick breakfasts without the hassle of dirty dishes.

5 Easy Breakfasts And How To Pair Them

Most quick breakfasts are heavy in carbohydrates. Carbs are quickly metabolized, often leading to more frequent eating.

With some easy boosts, we can help extend their staying power and keep our kids’ bellies full longer!

Cereal

Whether they take it dry or with milk, cereal is a quick 5-second meal. And while there are definitely some brands more nutritious than others, I won’t go into brand comparison or ingredient lists here! I want to give you tips that make it go further no matter what you choose.

Most cereals are high in starch and carbs, which metabolize quickly, and low in fat and protein, which helps keep us satiated. To extend this breakfast meal, we need some fat and protein!

I’d start with adding some fiber, a great stabilizer for their mood and stomach. Throw a handful of fruit on top of their cereal or on the side.

If they don’t like milk, a great source of protein and fat, try adding raisins and some broken-up nuts like cashews or even a sprinkle of seeds like chia or hemp.

Bowl of cereal

Frozen Waffles

While there’s nothing wrong with store-bought pancakes and waffles, I recommend making them in bulk at home and freezing them! You will save money and control the ingredients while keeping the convenience.

Like cereal, these are high in carbohydrates, so we want to add fat and protein.

Instead of just spreading butter, add a layer of nut butter, too. Or, make it fun with a butter/nut butter/syrup combo dip!

You could also add a bowl of whole-fat greek yogurt with granola on the side.

Scrambled Eggs

This meal takes a little more prep but is still a simple morning meal.

It’s got some fat and protein, but let’s beef it up with additional nutrients, specifically a complex carb.

Add a slice of whole wheat toast or an English muffin with fruit on the side.

You could also add a splash of whole milk to the egg mixture to enhance the nutrient content.

If you can get away with it, chop spinach to cook in the eggs. Start small and increase over time. The spinach doesn’t change the flavor or texture and adds fiber and micronutrients!

Yogurt

Yogurt is super simple–pop off the top and throw in a spoon. If you do it right, yogurt can be a pretty balanced meal, but you still may want to add a booster or two.

First, choose full-fat yogurt for kids. And if they like the flavor, opt for greek or icelandic yogurt for its higher protein content.

Add a dollop of nut butter mixed in for more protein and fat and to increase the flavor, especially if it’s plain greek yogurt.

I also like to add “sprinkles” on top. Create your own granola mixture, being sure to include chia seeds or hemp hearts for added fiber and a nice crunch.

Yogurt cups with granola and fruit

Oatmeal

Oatmeal is one of the most common breakfast foods, especially during the cooler months.

It’s a great source of whole grains, complex carbs, and good fiber.

While it’s pretty sustaining on its own, I always recommend adding more.

Try making it with milk instead of water, maybe even adding an egg or egg white to the mixture.

Once cooked, add some boosters! For fiber, add some fruit. To increase fat, mix in butter or nut butter. You could even mix in greek yogurt or protein powder to boost protein content!

Bowl of oatmeal

Adding these simple boosters take almost no additional time and significantly boosts nutrition for your little one’s breakfast.

When they start the day strong, the rest of the day follows!

But if you’re struggling with getting your little one to eat at all, or their picky eating habits have 

you stressed out each time you go to sit with them at the table, it’s time to get to the root cause and make some changes.
In my Table Talk course, I will help you learn all the strategies and methods to help your kids eat all foods. Together, we will identify their picky eating habits, figure out why they’re occurring, and find a solution so you and your family can spend less time stressing and more time connecting.

5 Picky eating hacks to help them eat

Today we talk about 5 picky eating hacks to help your little one eat more foods and make mealtimes more fun!

Click here to get 15% off your PaleoValley order!

Ready to learn about my Table Talk program? Click here to learn more and enroll!

If you haven’t yet make sure to subscribe to my other podcast The Mama Well yes I have two!

Loving the podcast but looking for more?

Head over to my Instagram account @nutrition.for.littles where I drop almost daily content helping you change the mealtime environment in your home (make sure to watch my stories where I teach and explain in more detail!)

Hope this episode was helpful for you! If it was it would mean so much to me if you left a written review it only takes you a second but helps other mamas just like you!

Also if you liked this episode share it with your friends and family because it really does take a village to raise kids and it helps when your village is all on the same page!

Thanks for tuning in, until next week mamas!

When to say no

Establishing Boundaries To Nourish Your Child

In the circle of child nutrition, we often talk about what to do when your child wants more. They finished their plate and asked for seconds. Or ate all their apple slices during snack and wanted another. 

Typically the answer is simple–give them more! But are there circumstances when we should say no? I think so. Hear me out.

What are serving sizes anyways?

When we walk down the aisles at the grocery store, we see pre-portioned meals for babies and adults alike. Where do those portion sizes come from, though? Who decided that’s how much we should be eating? 

They’re completely made up. There is little to no research behind those portion sizes, yet they’ve come to set our expectations for what is “normal”. So don’t be weary if your child eats more or less than “one serving” per the package. Every kid is different.

Kids’ Changing Appetites

We’ve gotten used to seeing what’s considered “normal”, and have now come to expect that from our children at each meal. If they eat more or less than “normal”, we’re concerned.

Children’s appetites are constantly changing because their source is fluid. Their appetite is directly tied to how much sleep they’re getting, physical activity, stress, playing, growth and even brain development. 

The goal here is to help our kids learn to eat intuitively. To trust their bodies and listen when it says how much food they need. 

To do that, sometimes we have to let them feel too full or get a little hungry.

New Expectations

Think about the last meal you ate. Did you eat a typical amount for that meal? Do you always eat the same exact amount every day at that time? Or does it fluctuate?

If you’re consistently eating the same amount, dig into the why. Are you ignoring your body’s cues and eating out of habit? If we want our children to learn how to eat intuitively, the best way to teach is to lead by example. 

If your portions fluctuate based on your needs, remember your kids do, too.

Know and expect their appetites to change from day to day, week to week, or even meal to meal!

As their bodies develop, they will require different nutritional needs. Trust them to trust their bodies.

Change your expectations to a feeling of wonder–I wonder how much they’ll eat; I wonder if they’re growing–rather than relying on your preconceived notion of how their plate should look at the end of a meal.

When To Say No

All that being said, there are times we should say no. We must teach our children to listen to their bodies, but it is acceptable to establish boundaries.

Food Allergies

If your child has food allergies, it is obvious that you wouldn’t allow them to eat something that will cause them harm. Your primary job is to keep them safe and healthy!

Outside Meal/Snack Routine

Setting a meal and snack routine is crucial to avoiding picky eating and setting expectations. If you’re new here and don’t know what I’m talking about, I break it all down here!

If you’ve taken the time to establish a solid routine, what should you do if they ask for food outside of those allowed times?

First, acknowledge that they’re hungry. Next, make a plan for when they will eat next. Lastly, redirect.

It should look a little something like this:

“Oh, you want grapes? Let’s put that on the menu for lunch! Until lunchtime, let’s go play xyz!”

Acknowledge. Plan. Redirect.

You’ve Run Out

This one seems pretty simple, right? You can’t offer something you don’t have. 

Tell your little one, “I’m so sorry we’re all out! I’ll make sure to add it to the list for next time.”

As a parent, it can be disheartening to go through food faster than you expected. Maybe you thought those grapes would last you five days and they’ve only lasted two.

Nourishing our children is definitely an investment of time, effort, and money.

Your child may be upset and you may feel guilty, but remember no matter what window of time they’re consuming the foods, they’re still getting all the nutrients!

You Need To Save Some For The Family

If your child is requesting more, but you need to save some for other members of the family, it’s okay to say no.

Be clear and honest about the needs of the rest of the family, telling them something like, “That’s all we have today, the rest is for tomorrow/daddy’s lunch/mommy.”

A tantrum may ensue, but it’s okay to set and hold boundaries when it comes to feeding the family as a whole.

Meal Time Has Gone Too Long

I usually recommend meals lasting anywhere from 15-45 minutes, depending on the needs of the family.

A great way to exhibit this is with a sand timer.

However, if your child is dragging on too long, it’s appropriate to cut them off at the end of the meal.

Let them know you will set it aside to have later, even letting them help wrap it up so they don’t feel like it’s been an abrupt end.

Food Reactions

Different from allergies, reactions are an effect of eating too much of a certain type of food.

They may get constipation or diarrhea with too much fruit or dairy.

While it’s hard to see our children feel discomfort, I’m a fan of letting them eat it. Then when the consequences come, gently point out the cause-and-effect relationship.

Young children have a harder time making that connection but are more easily able to do so as they get older.

We want them to learn how to make these decisions on their own, so while it may not always be a firm “no”, a gentle reminder may help them in their decision-making process.

Keep in mind that just because there was a reaction last time doesn’t mean there will be forever. 

Their reactions to food will ebb and flow as they continue to grow and develop. 

Need more help, check out Table Talk

Raising intuitive eaters is made so much harder with picky eating habits.

By joining Table Talk, the self-paced picky eating course that works. You’ll become your child’s own feeding expert. No more bribing, begging, or counting bites! 

When we can tackle picky eating and establish good habits, we set the stage for intuitive eating and connection through meals.

LQ: Protein powder

This week’s podcast is a listener question, “I’m overwhelmed with all the protein things, does my kid need a protein powder? Or is it unsafe? Should I be using protein powder in everything or just some things? When and how much?” I answer all these questions in this podcast!

I talk about my Protein needs podcast. Wanting to look for a protein powder here is a link to my Amazon store.

Ready to learn about my Table Talk program? Click here to learn more and enroll!

Click here to get 15% off your PaleoValley order!

If you haven’t yet make sure to subscribe to my other podcast The Mama Well yes I have two!

Loving the podcast but looking for more?

Head over to my Instagram account @nutrition.for.littles where I drop almost daily content helping you change the mealtime environment in your home (make sure to watch my stories where I teach and explain in more detail!)

Hope this episode was helpful for you! If it was it would mean so much to me if you left a written review it only takes you a second but helps other mamas just like you!

Also if you liked this episode share it with your friends and family because it really does take a village to raise kids and it helps when your village is all on the same page!

Thanks for tuning in, until next week mamas!

3 weird ways to get them to try new foods

I give you 3 weird and surprising ways to get your little one to try new foods. They are fun and creative ways to get your little one to think about trying any food!

Want my FREE picky eating guide? Click here to get instant access!

Click here to enroll in Safe Beginning’s online CPR course. Use code Alyssa20 for 20% off.

If you haven’t yet make sure to subscribe to my other podcast The Mama Well yes I have two!

Loving the podcast but looking for more?

Head over to my Instagram account @nutrition.for.littles where I drop almost daily content helping you change the mealtime environment in your home (make sure to watch my stories where I teach and explain in more detail!)

Hope this episode was helpful for you! If it was it would mean so much to me if you left a written review it only takes you a second but helps other mamas just like you!

Also if you liked this episode share it with your friends and family because it really does take a village to raise kids and it helps when your village is all on the same page!

Thanks for tuning in, until next week mamas!

Mindset shifts for picky eating

I am sharing with you 3 mindset shifts parents should consider when it comes to helping their littles with picky eating.

Ready to learn how to help your littles eat new and more foods? You can enroll in my Table Talk picky eating program RIGHT NOW. Click here to learn more and enroll!

Want to try Dino Bars for yourself? Grab a pack by clicking here and use code Alyssa10 for 10% off.

If you haven’t yet make sure to subscribe to my other podcast The Mama Well yes I have two!

Loving the podcast but looking for more?

Head over to my Instagram account @nutrition.for.littles where I drop almost daily content helping you change the mealtime environment in your home (make sure to watch my stories where I teach and explain in more detail!)

Hope this episode was helpful for you! If it was it would mean so much to me if you left a written review it only takes you a second but helps other mamas just like you!

Also if you liked this episode share it with your friends and family because it really does take a village to raise kids and it helps when your village is all on the same page!

Thanks for tuning in, until next week mamas!

Rapid fire Q&A

This week I am answering your questions that you have asked me on Instagram!

Looking to change up your menu? Look no further click here to learn more about the REVAMP system and how you can make small changes to your menu!

Looking for toys that support your kids age and development? Try Lovevery, click here to find a play kit that is just right for your little one in their current stage!

If you haven’t yet make sure to subscribe to my other podcast The Mama Well yes I have two!

Loving the podcast but looking for more?

Head over to my Instagram account @nutrition.for.littles where I drop almost daily content helping you change the mealtime environment in your home (make sure to watch my stories where I teach and explain in more detail!)

Hope this episode was helpful for you! If it was it would mean so much to me if you left a written review it only takes you a second but helps other mamas just like you!

Also if you liked this episode share it with your friends and family because it really does take a village to raise kids and it helps when your village is all on the same page!

Thanks for tuning in, until next week mamas!