Nutrition for Littles

How to identify and reverse your child’s selective eating habits

Your toddler used to eat anything you offered and now they won’t touch a thing. Meal times were peaceful and now they’re stressful. Sound familiar? You may be thinking “why now” or “what happened”. 

There are dozens of reasons picky eating occurs! Some of them are in our control and some are not. It may just be a phase, but without intervention, your child may get stuck in a vicious cycle of picky eating behaviors. 

While it can be stressful to suddenly have a picky eater at your table, understanding the reason behind it may be the key to solving it once and for all.

Natural Occurrence

Having a child that suddenly becomes picky doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong or that there’s anything wrong with your child!

Picky eating is a biological reaction to children gaining more autonomy. When they’re starting to toddle around, between the ages of 18-36 months, they start developing a natural drive for self-preservation. 

This means they’re learning it is no longer safe to put everything in their mouths, and while that’s certainly a great thing, unfortunately, it can lead to picky eating.

Expression of Autonomy

Our little ones are growing, developing, and becoming their own tiny person. It’s an exciting time in parenthood!

With these newfound abilities and desire to be their own person, they now feel emboldened to make their own choices–including at the dinner table.

Physiological Challenges

Studies have shown that genetics can actually play a role in picky eating! For example, some people have a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap.

Medical issues, birth complications (i.e. tube feedings), physical limitations, and processing issues can also be the cause of food aversions in your child.

While there is no magic fix or cure for these causes that are out of our control, there are ways we can put them in a favorable environment and help tee them up for success.

Environmental Experiences

This is probably the area where we have the most control. What does their environment look like? 

What foods are on the plate, who is sitting (or not sitting) with them at the table, what is said about the food, what is expected, how they are encouraged to eat or try new things etc etc.

Every eating experience they’ve had in their past affects whether or not they’re going to eat something today. And before you let that be overwhelming remember that also means each eating experience is a new opportunity to foster a positive experience with foods!

As I teach inside my picky eating course we can set them up for success every time a meal or snack comes around – this is GOOD news!

Capitalize on the Flavor Window

Before your child hits the picky eating phase, work on building their flavor profile as big as you possibly can.

Present them with tons of flavors, textures, and temperatures to help build a large flavor arsenal to help get them through their toddler years.

The more exposure they have early on, the less likely they are to develop picky eating habits.

Offer Lots of Variety

Even if your child is already picky, continue offering a large variety of options at every meal.

The only way you can guarantee they won’t eat something is to not give it at all! You never know when one day they may try and like something they’ve previously rejected.

What we don’t want to do is encourage their behavior by only serving them what they like.

If they’re used to having a waffle for breakfast every day, there are small changes you can make to give them opportunities to expand their palette–serve it with butter, yogurt, almond, or peanut butter as a way to switch it up!

Don’t Use Pressure Tactics

By applying pressure to get our children to eat, we are inadvertently creating a food hierarchy that applies value to foods based on the amount of pressure they receive to eat them.

Tactics like bribing, begging, guilting, and praising may work in the short term, but they are not long-term solutions. You’ll likely dig yourself into a hole that will be harder to come back from.

Finding a Solution

To solve picky eating once and for all, you first need to figure out the why, then figure out the how.

Each child is unique. Tailoring a solution to their specific challenges is the key to success.
If you need help navigating your child’s eating patterns or finding the right solution, enroll in  my Table Talk Course. I will help you figure out the “why” behind your child’s picky eating habits and the strategies to use to reverse picky eating once and for all.

We’ve finally made it past the holiday season, but maybe some of the habits your kids picked up didn’t get the memo. There are family events, changes in schedules, new foods and faces around the dinner table, and maybe even illnesses. 

This can lead to picky eating, even in kids who may not usually be! 

But now it’s time to get back to your regularly scheduled programming. Here are 6 tips to help your child detox from a season of pickiness!

Establish Your Family Values

To set boundaries around food, it’s important to understand what is most important. Write down your values as a family–is it your priority that your children get to sit together, laugh, and bond? Or maybe your focus is on the food? Is dinner time when you read together? 

Find what makes you feel the most connected as a family and build your boundaries around that.

Set Up A Snack Routine

Most children thrive on predictability and stability. Try implementing a meal and snack routine so they know what to expect throughout the day. They’re much less likely to fight you at mealtime if it’s the same every day!

Along with mealtime values, you should also establish the most important aspects of your day and build your snack routine around that.

Do you value sleep? Then maybe breakfast is 30 minutes late one day and the rest of your snack and meal routine follows.

The important thing to remember is you don’t need to time it perfectly. Find a rhythm that fits you and your family and stick with it! Consistency is key.

Know, Follow & Honor Division of Responsibility

There are different roles at the table for children and adults. The basic breakdown usually looks like this:

Parent: Provides where/what/when the child is allowed to eat

Child: Decides whether to eat what’s offered and how much

Problems usually arise when one or the other starts to overstep those boundaries.

As a parent, try to avoid counting bites, requiring them to finish their plates, or dictating which foods they need to eat. Similarly, children may try to demand eating outside their normal eating window or in a place where eating is not allowed.  

Offer a Variety of Foods

You can help prevent pickiness by keeping your children surprised, knowing that each trip to the table will be exciting and new.

Don’t be intimidated. We aren’t talking about huge changes here. If you offered spaghetti and meatballs last time, try a meat sauce instead. You could change the meat you use or opt for marinara sauce instead. Switching up the pasta shape is another super easy option!

The bottom line here, change should be the only constant! 

Make things fun

Focus on your connection with your child, fostering an environment of safety, trying new things, and accepting no as an answer.

Have fun by inviting them to participate in cooking the meal or setting the table. Laugh about how the spaghetti noodles look like snakes or the parmesan cheese is like snow.

It doesn’t always have to be about food, either! Talk to them about their day, their favorite stuffed animal, or anything they like. 

While connecting is the focus here, it doesn’t mean you always give in to them. Hold loving and empathetic boundaries, laugh with them, engage with food, and make the table a place they want to come to.

If you are already struggling with pickiness, focus on connection first and foremost and the rest will come.

Model the Behavior You Want to See

The patterns we express in front of our children will shape how they view foods for the rest of their lives. This is a beautiful thing! 

Model the kind of behavior you want to see in your children. Let them see you try new foods and get out of your comfort zone. Try foods you don’t usually like, but prepared in a new way. Cook new things and invite them to join you!

Over time, they will recognize these patterns and start to model their behavior after yours.

Already Have a Picky Eater?

If you are already struggling with picky eating, try to root out the cause. Oftentimes we will find ourselves trying every trick under the sun and it doesn’t make a difference.

This is likely because you’re trying to solve a problem that doesn’t exist!

Find the reason behind their pickiness and try to plan your parenting strategies around that reason. You know your child best, so try tactics specific to their root issue.

I have an entire section on how to do this in my Table Talk course!

Feeding kids shouldn’t be this hard. Picky eating can take over your life, feeling like every meal is worse than the last. It’s time to reclaim your kitchen tables and actually start enjoying meals together.

I believe raising strong families happens around the table and picky eating can get in the way of that.Table Talk is a targeted program that teaches you the strategies and methods that kick picky eating to the curb for good. Learn more about it by clicking here!

Tips for avoiding tabletime tantrums

Not all children start out as picky eaters. Something happens along the way, usually between 2-3 years old, and suddenly they’re rejecting everything but nuggets and mac and cheese.

While we can’t completely prevent picky eating, there are some things you can do to help guide your child in the right direction.

Why do kids become picky eaters?

“My child used to eat anything I gave them and now they won’t try anything!” It’s a sentiment I hear a lot. It can be confusing and frustrating, but you aren’t alone. Research shows that 80% of parents say their kids have had or are currently in a stage of picky eating.

But why does it happen?

Biological Drive

Pickiness usually pops up around the toddlerhood age–they’re more mobile and gaining more control of their bodies. Their brain begins recognizing some of the items they’d normally put in their mouths as unsafe. This is great for keeping our children safe and healthy, but unfortunately also extends to food.

Developmental Changes

Along with biological drives, our children also experience developmental changes in the toddlerhood stage. At this age, they are becoming more autonomous and able to recognize that their body is separate from everyone else’s. They want control over what goes in, around, on, and near their bodies.

Tips for Preventing Picky Eating

If you don’t have a picky eater yet, they’re likely young and just starting out. This is great news! There are lots of things within your control to support them in the transitions their bodies will soon be making.

Wide Variety

Between the ages of 6-18 months, your baby’s flavor profile is being built. Think of it like a bank–every time you offer them new foods to try you are making a deposit. When they get older and start rejecting things that are unfamiliar to them, they will have a bank built up and their brain will make that connection more easily.

Try to offer 1-3 new foods each week, making sure to repeat foods you’ve already introduced. It’s going to take time for them to build a connection, so repetition is key here!

Keep Things Changing

The only thing that should stay the same is change. Getting stuck in the same food repetitions is going to keep your child in their comfort zone and likely result in picky eating.

You don’t need to make big changes every day! Try making small changes like flavors, dips, or side dishes with a main dish you know they love. Change the way you cook some of their favorite foods. This week you may bake it, next week serve it steamed. Change their noodle shape or brand, the type of plate or silverware they’re using, or even their spot at the table.

Keeping them on their toes will have them expecting something new at every mealtime and they won’t be able to settle into the same eating patterns.

Stay Calm

When an unavoidable picky opportunity pops up, stay calm. Many times, picky eating will get worse when we become reactive. We get frustrated and their refusal to eat broccoli turns into skipping a meal and then refusing vegetables for a week.

Look at their nutrition from a 30,000-foot view. It’s not about one meal, it’s about their nutrition over the course of a week, month, or even a year.

Be Responsive

Don’t be reactive, be responsive. Reacting is very volatile, grasping at straws to pressure your child into eating.

Responsiveness is working with your child to help guide them back where they need to be to enjoy mealtimes and get them the nutrition they need.

Eat Together

One of the best things you can do to prevent picky eating is to focus on family meals. Bring every member of the family together during mealtimes and just enjoy the connection and relationship you’re building with your children.

This also gives you an opportunity to eat by example and demonstrate to your child how you want them to eat.

What if they become picky anyway?

Like I said before, there’s no way to guarantee you’ll avoid the picky stage. While these tips can help prevent picky eating, they can also help you reverse it!

No matter how difficult it may seem, take it one meal at a time–each one counts! You can take steps every day toward a path of peaceful mealtimes together.

And if you still feel stuck and you aren’t sure where to go, Table Talk is for you. It teaches you all the strategies and methods in place to help with picky eating and finally kick it to the curb.

Resources

Listen to my podcast episode about preventing picky eating here.

Here are some links of my other podcasts I talk about the Division of Responsibility episode, click here to listen! Starting solids podcast, click here. I also talk about my Table Talk program, click here to learn more and enroll!

Want my FREE picky eating guide? Click here to get instant access!

Looking for toys that support your kids’ age and development? Try Lovevery, click here to find a play kit that is just right for your little one in their current stage!

Loving the podcast but looking for more?

Head over to my Instagram account @nutrition.for.littles where I drop almost daily content helping you change the mealtime environment in your home (make sure to watch my stories where I teach and explain in more detail!)