Nutrition for Littles

5 Tips To Bring The Joy Back To Family Mealtimes

Toddlers can be savages, y’all.

Keeping little ones at the table during meals is a struggle for so many parents. Oftentimes, toddlers want the freedom to leave and return to the table as they please, playing in between and coming back to graze.

But this isn’t conducive to joyful family mealtimes. You might feel like you’re constantly bribing or coercing them to sit back down.

I truly believe connection happens when we sit down as a family for meals. Picky eating can get in the way of that connection, so how do we fix it? How can we keep our little ones at the table with us?

These tips are certainly pertinent to toddlers, but can also apply to older children. And while I can give you all the hacks in the world, they’re only as solid as your boundaries. Children inevitably push back, it’s our job to lovingly establish and maintain the expectations so they can learn.

Get the Wiggles Out

Does your little one get rambunctious when you sit down to eat? Do they frequently get up and back down again to keep themselves occupied?

Sometimes the stark announcement of “time to eat, let’s go to the table” is too abrupt for them. Or maybe it’s just a case of the wiggles!

Take ten minutes between preparing and serving meals to connect with them physically. Get active! Play with them–whether it’s hide-and-seek, a tickle party, or playing airplane on your feet–get their bodies moving so they can expel some of their energy while building up their appetite.

Spend time engaging with them without the distraction of meal preparation. By taking the time to connect, they’ll be more willing to come with you to the table and less likely to feel the urge to get their wiggles out.

Plan Meals & Snacks Around Natural Hunger Times

I talk a ton about setting up meal and snack routines, or rhythms, especially in my Table Talk course. A “rhythm” is a predictable schedule of eating times so your child comes to know what is expected and when.

But to do that, we need to find the sweet spot. We want to catch them when they’re hungry, but not starving, and not so full from their last meal or snack that they’re not interested. They won’t want to sit if they aren’t hungry!

When we stick to a schedule, their bodies will start to self-regulate to the rhythm.

Decide on your rhythm as a family so you are all able to eat together. Remember: connection is key!

Make Sure They’re Comfortable

To be effective, meal times need to be a comfortable and inviting environment. If we want our kids to feel part of mealtime, their comfort should be a priority!

If they’re sliding off their seat, the table is too high, or they’re afraid of breaking mom’s ceramic plate, they will feel less at ease and less likely to remain seated during the meal.

By creating a welcoming environment, both physically and emotionally, we are setting them up for success at the table.

Have The Table Set

Before summoning the family to the table, have it ready. Place the food, drinks, and utensils at each person’s seat ready to greet them when they sit down. You may want to grab a few napkins, too, those toddlers sure know how to make a mess!

By having everything you need at the table already, for kids and parents alike, we can eliminate the need for anyone to have to get up. You know the drill, once mom gets up, it’s like an open invitation to play human ping pong in the kitchen!

Use A Sand Timer

Using a visual timer is a great way to keep your child engaged at the table while understandably displaying your expectations.

You may need to lower your expectations if you’re just starting out; set your timer for 1-2 minutes for every year your child is. Over time, add 1-2 minutes at a time until you’ve reached your desired meal length. For most families, this will be between 10-20 minutes.

You can make it a fun game, letting them turn the timer when they sit down or make up a fun song like we did! 

The visual reminder will keep them at the table longer and eliminate the need to constantly remind them to sit.

What If They Take Forever To Eat?

I hear from parents often that their child takes forever to finish their meal. And while we don’t want to rush them, allowing them to take too long can be detrimental as well.

By allowing them to extend the meal time, we start encroaching on the grazing territory. When they graze, they never really get full and tend to snack many times throughout the day, completely ruining the nice rhythm you’ve set for your family!

To avoid this, try giving several verbal reminders as the end of meal time approaches–five minutes, 3 minutes, 1 minute, etc. Don’t suddenly end the meal without giving them an opportunity to eat what they want.

Then give them the option of what to do with their remaining food. Do they want to save it for a snack or stick it in the refrigerator for later?

Most importantly, whatever standards you want to set for your kids, make sure you are modeling that behavior for them!

Find Confidence At The Table

It can be exhausting getting stuck in the cycle of bribing, begging, counting bites, and feeding toddlers. You’re likely tired of making new meals and hoping tonight’s the night they actually tough it.

Maybe you’re worried they aren’t eating enough nutritious foods and nothing you’ve tried is working.

You need a plan to enjoy meals again as a family. 

By joining my Table Talk course, you will learn strategies and methods to kick picky eating to the curb for good. And because you know your child best, we teach you how to be your own feeding expert.

I want you to feel confident at the table and that you’re raising a happy, healthy, and independent eater! Because I truly believe that connection happens around a good meal as a family.

It can be so frustrating when our little ones stop eating foods they used to eat. Foods that were once safe are now boycotted. As parents, it can be difficult to understand their newfound hatred for bananas when it was their first and favorite food!

While it is definitely a challenge for you as the parent, sometimes it is easier when we understand the why. 

When we know the reason, we can show compassion and find the right avenue for navigating a season of picky eating.

They’re Burnt Out

If you have a picky eater, you likely are circulating a small number of the same foods just to make sure they eat. 

We serve them often to keep them fed, but eventually they get burnt out on the same fruits and vegetables day after day… who wouldn’t?

To avoid burnout, don’t over-serve the same food. Push it to every other day, or prepare  it in a new way.

You’re Pushing Too Hard

Do you find yourself pressuring your child to eat? Whether it’s bribing, begging, pleading, or praising, pushing them to eat often results in them rejecting the very food you want them to eat!

When we pressure them, it sends up a red flag! And while it may work in the beginning, it will only leave us with a larger hill to climb once the damage is done.

Avoid pressure methods like the ones listed above, as well as counting bites, celebrating each bite, or feeding them yourself.

Often, giving them space helps them feel more in control which leads to eating those same foods we had previously begged them to eat!

They’re Looking For Control

There are so many aspects of children’s lives that are out of their control, and for good reason. But when they feel out of control in one area of their life, they may seek control somewhere else–like their food!

In coaching calls with my Table Talk members, I often get told, “I don’t know what’s going on! They used to eat these foods but now they refuse!” When I dig a little deeper, 50% of the time there is something new going on in their life–a new sibling, a new school, a grandparent moved in, or possibly a worldwide lockdown.

We can support them by giving them options, no more than two at a time, during meal times. Make sure to only offer options you are comfortable with! For example, if you don’t want them drinking soda, don’t offer it. This allows them to express their choice while leaving you, the parent, with control of the options they have to choose from.

Their Taste is Changing

Did you know our taste buds change every two weeks?! Imagine the confusion as a toddler trying to navigate those changes.

There is lots of research left to be done here, but remember our children are growing and developing all the time, including their taste buds.

And while it’s frustrating for us that they dislike something they ate a month ago, it also presents an opportunity for them to try and accept new foods. 

As adults, foods go in and out of favor in different seasons of our lives and kids are no different!

They’re Getting Sick or Teething

Maybe your little one is getting a stomach bug and the acidity of oranges upsets it. Or the chicken at dinner is hard for them to chew with a new molar coming in. 

Maybe the food just doesn’t seem appetizing when they’re sick. It could even be that their smell is off because of congestion, as our smell makes up 80% of our tasting ability!

Regardless of the reason, it is only a season and it will pass. Show compassion, offer them nutritious options to get them through, and know it won’t last forever.

They Had a Bad Experience

Have you ever had a watery, unsatisfying watermelon, blueberries that were entirely too sour, or chicken that just didn’t smell right? 

Kids are even more sensitive to these changes than we are and often they’ll remember that experience the next time that food is offered, causing them to distrust it.

Don’t freak out, convince them to give it one more try, or use other pressuring techniques. Let them have the freedom to choose when and if they decide to try it again.

Another solution would be to try our kids’ food sometimes. It’s not necessary at every meal, but giving it a little bit of a spot check every now and then can help us understand a bit better.

I always advocate eating meals together with your children. When we do so, we are present for those small changes and can help navigate them before they become a bigger issue.

Still Stuck?

I know it’s challenging having a picky eater. Or maybe your child isn’t typically picky but is still rejecting foods they used to eat.

Even if they’re dropping foods, there are still things we can do to encourage them to keep trying. Just because they’re done for now doesn’t mean they’re done for good and the only way to guarantee they won’t eat something is to avoid serving it altogether!
This happens. It’s life. Our kids go through different phases and challenges just like we do. If it feels stressful or overwhelming or you’re worried about how to move forward, I invite you to join my Table Talk course, a program that teaches you to be your own feeding expert, because you know your child best.

How to identify and reverse your child’s selective eating habits

Your toddler used to eat anything you offered and now they won’t touch a thing. Meal times were peaceful and now they’re stressful. Sound familiar? You may be thinking “why now” or “what happened”. 

There are dozens of reasons picky eating occurs! Some of them are in our control and some are not. It may just be a phase, but without intervention, your child may get stuck in a vicious cycle of picky eating behaviors. 

While it can be stressful to suddenly have a picky eater at your table, understanding the reason behind it may be the key to solving it once and for all.

Natural Occurrence

Having a child that suddenly becomes picky doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong or that there’s anything wrong with your child!

Picky eating is a biological reaction to children gaining more autonomy. When they’re starting to toddle around, between the ages of 18-36 months, they start developing a natural drive for self-preservation. 

This means they’re learning it is no longer safe to put everything in their mouths, and while that’s certainly a great thing, unfortunately, it can lead to picky eating.

Expression of Autonomy

Our little ones are growing, developing, and becoming their own tiny person. It’s an exciting time in parenthood!

With these newfound abilities and desire to be their own person, they now feel emboldened to make their own choices–including at the dinner table.

Physiological Challenges

Studies have shown that genetics can actually play a role in picky eating! For example, some people have a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap.

Medical issues, birth complications (i.e. tube feedings), physical limitations, and processing issues can also be the cause of food aversions in your child.

While there is no magic fix or cure for these causes that are out of our control, there are ways we can put them in a favorable environment and help tee them up for success.

Environmental Experiences

This is probably the area where we have the most control. What does their environment look like? 

What foods are on the plate, who is sitting (or not sitting) with them at the table, what is said about the food, what is expected, how they are encouraged to eat or try new things etc etc.

Every eating experience they’ve had in their past affects whether or not they’re going to eat something today. And before you let that be overwhelming remember that also means each eating experience is a new opportunity to foster a positive experience with foods!

As I teach inside my picky eating course we can set them up for success every time a meal or snack comes around – this is GOOD news!

Capitalize on the Flavor Window

Before your child hits the picky eating phase, work on building their flavor profile as big as you possibly can.

Present them with tons of flavors, textures, and temperatures to help build a large flavor arsenal to help get them through their toddler years.

The more exposure they have early on, the less likely they are to develop picky eating habits.

Offer Lots of Variety

Even if your child is already picky, continue offering a large variety of options at every meal.

The only way you can guarantee they won’t eat something is to not give it at all! You never know when one day they may try and like something they’ve previously rejected.

What we don’t want to do is encourage their behavior by only serving them what they like.

If they’re used to having a waffle for breakfast every day, there are small changes you can make to give them opportunities to expand their palette–serve it with butter, yogurt, almond, or peanut butter as a way to switch it up!

Don’t Use Pressure Tactics

By applying pressure to get our children to eat, we are inadvertently creating a food hierarchy that applies value to foods based on the amount of pressure they receive to eat them.

Tactics like bribing, begging, guilting, and praising may work in the short term, but they are not long-term solutions. You’ll likely dig yourself into a hole that will be harder to come back from.

Finding a Solution

To solve picky eating once and for all, you first need to figure out the why, then figure out the how.

Each child is unique. Tailoring a solution to their specific challenges is the key to success.
If you need help navigating your child’s eating patterns or finding the right solution, enroll in  my Table Talk Course. I will help you figure out the “why” behind your child’s picky eating habits and the strategies to use to reverse picky eating once and for all.

We’ve finally made it past the holiday season, but maybe some of the habits your kids picked up didn’t get the memo. There are family events, changes in schedules, new foods and faces around the dinner table, and maybe even illnesses. 

This can lead to picky eating, even in kids who may not usually be! 

But now it’s time to get back to your regularly scheduled programming. Here are 6 tips to help your child detox from a season of pickiness!

Establish Your Family Values

To set boundaries around food, it’s important to understand what is most important. Write down your values as a family–is it your priority that your children get to sit together, laugh, and bond? Or maybe your focus is on the food? Is dinner time when you read together? 

Find what makes you feel the most connected as a family and build your boundaries around that.

Set Up A Snack Routine

Most children thrive on predictability and stability. Try implementing a meal and snack routine so they know what to expect throughout the day. They’re much less likely to fight you at mealtime if it’s the same every day!

Along with mealtime values, you should also establish the most important aspects of your day and build your snack routine around that.

Do you value sleep? Then maybe breakfast is 30 minutes late one day and the rest of your snack and meal routine follows.

The important thing to remember is you don’t need to time it perfectly. Find a rhythm that fits you and your family and stick with it! Consistency is key.

Know, Follow & Honor Division of Responsibility

There are different roles at the table for children and adults. The basic breakdown usually looks like this:

Parent: Provides where/what/when the child is allowed to eat

Child: Decides whether to eat what’s offered and how much

Problems usually arise when one or the other starts to overstep those boundaries.

As a parent, try to avoid counting bites, requiring them to finish their plates, or dictating which foods they need to eat. Similarly, children may try to demand eating outside their normal eating window or in a place where eating is not allowed.  

Offer a Variety of Foods

You can help prevent pickiness by keeping your children surprised, knowing that each trip to the table will be exciting and new.

Don’t be intimidated. We aren’t talking about huge changes here. If you offered spaghetti and meatballs last time, try a meat sauce instead. You could change the meat you use or opt for marinara sauce instead. Switching up the pasta shape is another super easy option!

The bottom line here, change should be the only constant! 

Make things fun

Focus on your connection with your child, fostering an environment of safety, trying new things, and accepting no as an answer.

Have fun by inviting them to participate in cooking the meal or setting the table. Laugh about how the spaghetti noodles look like snakes or the parmesan cheese is like snow.

It doesn’t always have to be about food, either! Talk to them about their day, their favorite stuffed animal, or anything they like. 

While connecting is the focus here, it doesn’t mean you always give in to them. Hold loving and empathetic boundaries, laugh with them, engage with food, and make the table a place they want to come to.

If you are already struggling with pickiness, focus on connection first and foremost and the rest will come.

Model the Behavior You Want to See

The patterns we express in front of our children will shape how they view foods for the rest of their lives. This is a beautiful thing! 

Model the kind of behavior you want to see in your children. Let them see you try new foods and get out of your comfort zone. Try foods you don’t usually like, but prepared in a new way. Cook new things and invite them to join you!

Over time, they will recognize these patterns and start to model their behavior after yours.

Already Have a Picky Eater?

If you are already struggling with picky eating, try to root out the cause. Oftentimes we will find ourselves trying every trick under the sun and it doesn’t make a difference.

This is likely because you’re trying to solve a problem that doesn’t exist!

Find the reason behind their pickiness and try to plan your parenting strategies around that reason. You know your child best, so try tactics specific to their root issue.

I have an entire section on how to do this in my Table Talk course!

Feeding kids shouldn’t be this hard. Picky eating can take over your life, feeling like every meal is worse than the last. It’s time to reclaim your kitchen tables and actually start enjoying meals together.

I believe raising strong families happens around the table and picky eating can get in the way of that.Table Talk is a targeted program that teaches you the strategies and methods that kick picky eating to the curb for good. Learn more about it by clicking here!