Nutrition for Littles

Feeding kids can be a challenge. How would you feel if I told you I can help create more peace during mealtimes? How would you feel if I told you I can take the stress out of mealtimes> If I told you I could help avoid the daily throw down matches over how many bites and which foods to try? How would you feel if you were let off the hook? 

Enter the division of responsibility. The first time I heard this (before I had kids) I was in awe. Duh, that’s so simple, so straight forward and honestly quite obvious. But this is not how most people are raised.

The Division of Responsibility (Ellyn Satter Institute) separates the responsibilities during mealtime.

As the parent you’re in charge of what, when and where your child eats. You then trust that your child can decide how much of and whether they eat the food presented. 

Now if your child is still a baby then this can be easy to implement now. If you already have a toddler or child who is used to you telling them how many bites to take or each foods, or what their plate should look like at the end of mealtime you might have some work to do. And that’s totally ok.

You love your child – I know! You want the best for them, you want them to grow and to thrive! I totally get it but I also suspect you want your child to be self-sufficient and in tune with their own specific needs. I bet you also want your kid to grow up and avoid any disordered eating habits they might bring from their childhood.

Now I can hear some of you already; “but you don’t know my kid, he wouldn’t eat if I didn’t count his bites”, “sounds easy but what if they don’t eat”, “what if they overeat and put on too much weight too quickly” so many thoughts around food and mealtimes with kiddos.

At the end of the day babies and toddlers are born to be intuitive eaters. They have no learned behaviors that cause voices to tell them what or how much they “should” eat.

They just eat.

Now I get it, I’ve even gone down the rabbit hole of “two more bites please” but don’t fall for that trap. The truth is some days your child may only need a small portion of their meal whereas another day they may eat two helpings, or 4 bananas in one sitting (real story of my son). 

Trust your child to eat what they need, they will grow, they will regulate and they will thrive!!! Not to mention, they will grow up without food rules which haunt them later in life. 

So start now. Hang the division of responsibility on your fridge if you need a reminder. I’ve created a free printable for you right here and in the show notes of my podcast. Then when you’re frustrated or feel something about to come out your mouth you can ask yourself if the division of responsibility would support it or not.

Let me know what other questions you have about this and I would be happy to answer! Until next time mamas!  

Happy Monday all. Oh wait, it’s not Monday… oh man since I started staying at home with the kids my days all blend and meld together. I hardly know what month it is let alone what day it is… Josh and I were just talking about how in an office you have funny sayings to help you get through the week like “case of the Monday’s” and “hump day” and “Friday eve” and then of course “Fri-yay” why isn’t there one for Tuesdays? Maybe there is an I just don’t know about it…? Hmm let me know. I guess “Monday’s hangover” haha.

Anyways, with staying at home full time none of these mean anything to me anymore because staying at home with the kids is obviously round the clock and year round. So any work that I do end up doing (outside of parenting) is during nap time or after bed time or maybe if they’re entertaining themselves for a few quick minutes. Anyways all this to say is that it FEELS like Monday because that’s usually when I work on my menu for the week and go grocery shopping to get what I need for the upcoming week.

So I was going through my process on not-Monday and thought I would share it with you because it’s taken me SEVERAL years to perfect. Or rather, make serious progress. When I got married at 21 I knew very little about cooking, menu planning, sticking to a budget or how to make something out of nothing (something I feel like all moms are notorious for). I was overwhelmed. I started out small. I would cook only when I felt like it and usually I would find a recipe on Pinterest I liked or email my mom for the recipe to something she makes that I like (hi mom!), then I would write out the ingredients, go to the store and buy exactly what I needed for that meal.

Now, this isn’t a bad thing but it get’s expensive to buy ALL the ingredients for one meal in one go every time you want to cook not to mention the exhaustion of going to the store several times a week. The time used to look up the recipe, write out ingredients, go to the store, buy the ingredients, come home, unload groceries, start cooking and then eat (and hopefully clean up right away) is SOOOOOO long. Likely well over 3 hours! I mean I like to cook but that is too long in the kitchen for me. I have a pretty strict rule that I don’t make anything that takes longer than 45 minutes in the kitchen – if it’s longer than that I either prep it one day and finish it the next, save it for a holiday or its just not for me! haha.

So here’s my process now since I’m so stingy with my time in the kitchen.

• I inventory my pantry, fridge, and freezer (usually just in my head but you can write it out if you need to – that is nice because then you can update your list in real time as you use up or buy more ingredients)
• I look at the weather and think what kinds of dishes I would like to make – My appetite is VERY affected by the weather so if it’s a chilly night I might choose to make a pasta, if it’s rainy I may opt for a soup, if its hot and sunny I might choose a salad or something on the grill get my drift?
• I remember any requests from family. Yes, even my toddler get’s to make his requests. It may not be all I make or I may not make it that night but it gets my consideration, so if he asks for edamame I may make it as a side one night. Or if he asks for mac and cheese the whole family will enjoy it with sides I choose. This also helps the dilemma of when I’m serving dinner and my todder says “NO!! I WANT MAC AND CHEESE” I can calmly tell him “Oh! What a great idea, I will put it on the menu for next week!” this will usually appease him. But remember you have to follow through on that promise at some point otherwise they won’t trust you when you say it next time 😉  
• Once I know what kinds of dishes I want to make I look at the ingredients on hand and review my LONG list of favorite recipes that are tried and true and see if I have more than 50% of the ingredients needed to make any of those dishes. This makes for a smaller grocery bill and more space in my budget for stocking up on items or for fun snack foods
• I leave 1-2 nights open for leftovers and Saturdays are always for eating out (my husband and I go on date nights either alone or with friends every other Saturday, then the other Saturdays in the month are family dates)
• I look at our schedule and decide (while also keeping in mind the weather) which meal should go on which night based on the amount of time we will have to prepare and eat – ex. if we have soccer practice one night we might do something quick and painless and easy to eat in the car if our toddler takes his time (which happens often haha). If we have friends coming over I might cook something that makes more portions and is less hands on time while being easy to clean up so I have more time to socialize. If we have no plans I might try out a new recipe since I’ll have more time to learn. If Josh is coming home from work late I might try to make something that only requires one hand to make, flip or pull out of the oven! haha
• I have a standing note in my iPhone with the days of the week written out and I just enter which meal I’m making which day and make changes throughout the week as needed
• I make my grocery list based on what ingredients I am missing and then shop 🙂 While I shop I keep an eye out for sales. If I planned broccoli as a side one night but asparagus is cheaper I make the switch right then and there no problem
• I * try* to look at it every night before I go to bed to see if there is something I need to take out of the freezer to thaw
• Bonus tip: I only ever schedule for one MAYBE two new recipes to try out a week (and some weeks I don’t do anything new). New recipes are fun but with kids running around who go to dangerous places if not fed on time it’s not as fun as it used to be so having more than one new recipe to try out a week gets a little stressful
• Bonus bonus tip: if you’re really struggling to figure out what to serve each day without getting bored or repetitive make a rule like Monday is Italian night, Tuesdays are for Mexican food, Wednesdays are leftovers, Thursdays are for soups and salads, Fridays are for Asian dishes, Saturday we eat out and Sundays are for good old American fare. This helps narrow down your options without being too strict. Some people also keep to a menu rotation which is what we did in the hospital with menus. You build out a menu for the week and then three more weeks without repeating a dish then you cycle through the menus over and over. It cuts down on the work, makes it VERY predictable and easy to shop for. Plus it may sound repetitive but if it’s been one full month since you had enchiladas you’ll be ready for them again 😉 You can always mix it up and do different variations of the same foods (ie. green sauce enchiladas vs red sauce, or chicken tacos vs beef tacos etc etc) that will keep it interesting for a loooong time
• Tripple bonus tip: I made it a habit to go grocery shopping at only one store, once a week. This saves me a TON of $$ since that’s where I usually blow our budget but it also makes me accountable to menu plan and use what I have on hand. If we run out of something I substitute, borrow from my mom or neighbor, or go without. Say you run out of fresh onion, use the chopped onion spice. Say you run out of milk, lucky kids get juice for the rest of the week. Say you run out of an eggs, flax seeds work magically as a sub in baking. Your subs are just a google search away!

Alright that’s pretty much it for my process. It seems like a lot but it’s helpful to keep this checklist in mind. It makes making dinner wayyyyy less stressful because I’ve already factored in weather, how much time I have to cook, other people’s requests so I know they’ll enjoy it, budget, and what I might have a taste for. I hope this was helpful for you!

Let me know if you would like a peek at my list of dinners that are tried and true! Do you have a list like this? Somewhere written out? I find I forget some if I keep them in my head or they get lost on Pinterest over time. I have a document on my computer that I update regularly. I even put super simple meals on there like quesadillas or frozen pasta so I don’t forget those are always an option if I’m in a pinch.

Thanks for reading – if you want to see more menu planning tips and tricks find me on instagram where I share recipes, menu planning, meal prepping and mom life content. See you there!

Hey Mama, you in the trenches with me? I’ve got a three year old and a two month old. It’s hard to remind myself to focus on me right now. It’s hard not to let my needs slip one more tick down the totem pole. It’s hard to hear my own body’s cues over the noise (and the cuteness) of my kids.

And honestly, it’s easy to ignore my hunger, my pain, and my exhaustion right now. Especially when I have a three (almost four!) year old begging to be carried everywhere because he sees me carrying his baby sister, or asking to sleep in our room because his baby sister is sleeping in our room, or asks for yet another snack in the car (and mine was the only one left) it’s easy to succumb to the pain, the exhaustion and the hunger.

I constantly find myself having to choose between a shower, a hot meal, a nap or spending alone time with my husband. Then I jump on social to serve my community of moms with nutritional info or advice on how to repair their relationship with food, how to feed their children, or give meal inspiration and I feel a little pang of guilt.

That pang is the reminder that I feel like I’m failing at eating intuitively. I remember how earlier that day I ate my lunch so fast I can’t even remember what I had because I knew my daughter was waking up. I remember how yesterday I felt hungry but went to sleep anyways. I remember how I had a pickle and a cup of coffee for breakfast one day because it’s all I had time to grab. I remember how I ate even though I wasn’t hungry because I didn’t know the next time I would have the chance. I feel like a fraud. I’m an intuitive eating dietitian after all and if I can’t eat intuitively, who can?

And honestly, that’s just diet culture bull crap left over from my old days. The truth is intuitive eating isn’t something you can fail at! Even when I skip meals entirely because I choose to grab a nap when the stars have aligned and my babies are napping at the same time, I’m eating (or rather, not eating) intuitively.

Living intuitively is learning your body’s cues – not just for hunger, for all things your body needs. Then it’s making a choice to trust what your body is asking for is important and learning to give it what it is asking for without judgement. Sometimes for me that’s sleeping, or a shower, or a workout, or rest. And that’s ok.

Although it would be nice if eating intuitively was as easy as it sounds – eating every meal mindfully and peacefully. Having time to prepare and serve exactly what you’re craving while also having it fuel and nourish your body in a healthy way. Having a perfect balance of foods to meet all your needs. Enjoying every single bite until we’re perfectly satisfied as per the hunger scale. That’s just not real life. There is no perfect way to eat intuitively because it’s not a diet. You can’t win, you can’t fail. It’s a constant practice, and a constant choice to trust your body and your body learning to trust that you will honor it’s requests.

So exhale mama, you’re doing great.

Now that we’ve let ourselves off the hook a little let’s look at tangible ways to tune into our body and honor it’s needs when the business of life is making it dang near impossible (which happens with or without kids!)

My Tips:

1. Meal Prep – oh my goodness I cannot stress this enough. Meal prepping is something I’ve LONG tried to prove I don’t need in my life. And although I don’t NEED it, boy does it make it easy to get in a fast meal or snack that makes me feel good. I’ve found my most important meal to prep for is breakfast. It’s not that dinners are easy – because they’re not, but mornings are when everyone seems to need me the most. My daughter wakes up hungry after sleeping 10 hours (thank the Good LORD), my son wakes up hungry and wanting something to entertain him until it’s time to eat, even my dog wakes up hungry. And of course I need coffee before I can even think of cooking breakfast. Having breakfast on hand ready to be served or reheated is a LIFESAVER and usually means I get some time to eat too (even if it is over the back of my nursing baby). My favorite things to meal prep are: protein packed muffins, egg bakes, overnight oats, chia seed pudding, and frozen homemade waffles. I also enjoy having ready to eat foods on hand like yogurt, toast, and fruit.
2. Menu plan – without a menu plan in place we would eat out daily for dinner I’m sure of it. Which doesn’t sound like the worst thing but trust me it will get boring and expensive! Every Sunday I plan the coming week’s dinners and every Monday I grocery shop (or have my groceries delivered – a life saver with an infant or a toddler but especially both!). If I ever get an extra minute during the day I may even start prepping that dinner little by little. Even if it’s just chopping up the veggies or getting all the ingredients in one place it saves SO much time later. Having a menu planned is key to actually helping me get some time to sit and enjoy dinner with my family.
3. Snacks – pack all the snacks. Not only for my toddler but for me #momsnacks. I have a stash in my purse, diaper bag, in the car and even in my bedroom! I’m basically a squirrel. I keep a bin full of shelf-stable snacks in all those places so when hunger hits I have some choices right then and there. I also stash more than I have to because once a toddler hears the crinkle of a snack, they will come. My favorite shelf-stable snacks are trail mix, fig bars, kind bars, pretzels, cashews and dried mangoes. That way if I forget to bring a snack for myself in the car or more likely my toddler decides he would like two string cheeses (his plus mine) I have a backup. Anytime I use one of these snacks I always replace it.
4. Learn to say no – it’s OK to say no to your toddler or your husband or whoever. It’s good for my toddler to know that mama has to/wants to finish eating her meal too before she gets up to get him seconds or find his army guy or what have you. It’s important for them to see you eating, making yourself a priority, and fulfilling your needs. I’m as selfless as they come but I’m not doing my kids any favors (or myself) by teaching them my needs don’t matter and that one day when they have kids theirs won’t either.
5. Get good at eating with your lefthand while holding a baby to your chest. If you can master this skill you’re my hero. I recommend you start learning with cold foods and avoid spilling the hot soup on your baby’s cheek. Also try to learn how to cook, serve food, or grab a snack while nursing this is a serious mom skill that will serve you well for the first few months of your child’s life. I’ve even gotten pretty good at letting my daughter nurse while in a sling – two hands free – Holla!
6. Ask for help – get your husband, partner, mom or friend to bring you meals or snacks that are ready to go or help with the kids around meal time – hello, dad can get you more applesauce too Jr! 😉  
7. It’s also ok if you don’t eat every single meal together right now. I know the research and how important it is to eat all together as a family but sometimes that doesn’t work out and that’s ok. Drop the guilt over that. Feed your kids, get them to bed, then enjoy a hot meal with your spouse and maybe crack open a bottle of wine while you’re at it.
8. In the end know it’s just a season. Soon your kids will nap at the same time, or go off to school, or stick to a schedule of some kind. Soon your infant won’t be wanting to nurse every time you turn around and maybe one day your kids won’t wake up early on the one day you decided to wake up before them to try and get some time to prepare!

You’re doing great mama. This stage is all apart of it. You’re not failing your body, you’re doing the best you can and that’s all anyone can ask for in this stage of life. So, for now give yourself some grace, grab a snack or two, eat when you have time, and even eat the crumbs that fell on your baby’s cheek (we’ve all done it). Most importantly keep showing up to remind your self that listening to your body may look different today than it did yesterday but the ups and downs are all apart of it. Because in reality that’s life and change is the only thing you can count on.